How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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