I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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