I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
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Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector