remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.