I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
