How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
