Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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