chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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