i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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