dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
vagina is talking i cant
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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