Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
