She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
