i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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