pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Barsexuality is the new black.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
