We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize