epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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