I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
