3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize