Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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