If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
His nipple licking is glorious
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