I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
