Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize