white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
