If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
