So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
