I heard we made out
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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