just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
