he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
