We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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