Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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