Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
