Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
