If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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