Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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