You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
