Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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