I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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