i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
