i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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