alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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