You know, be my cock's hype man.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
