Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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