If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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