y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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