We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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