i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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