He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
