If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
