So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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