Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
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If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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