Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
