Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
