At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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