i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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