We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
