you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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