I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize