That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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