look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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