I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
