this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
