dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
