Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
